Fifty shades of what even, really

i don’t know why i wasn’t expecting it. I mean logically speaking, i should've. it wasn't as if it'd be improbable. not even slightly. the movie's about BDSM... or at least some messed up version of the thing. there's bound to be nudity or sex of some sort. 

but somehow, my brain hadn’t connected the dots and arrived at the conclusion that there’d be sex in the movie. 

i don’t know if that makes me innocent or just incredibly thick.

so, when the lady's shirt popped off and well... 

realisation: THIS IS A DIRTY MOVIE.

how did i not see that coming. dear lord.

anyway, at this point, i’m watching it out of more curiosity than anything. i completely get how this is based of twilight. 

i'm not sure if it really is the movie, or the aftermath of  the abovementioned stupidity. i can't stop laughing. i still find that ridiculous. i must be so dim = =

i think it’s suffice to say that i’ve been accidentally exposed to enough nudity that i will not break down or cry on my wedding night. which i suppose, is always magnificent news. my friend and i were joking about this a few years back, about how my honeymoon would go. like you know when it came to time for THE SEX. and i'd just break down and spend the remainder of the time crying and my poor husband would be so confused.

of course the above includes a large amount of speculation and exaggeration, still, it is based on past events. and those were only pictures. 

who knows, really. anything's possible.

in any case, i am over that. yeah.. i think. 

back to the movie. but first, three things. 

1. Christian Grey is a massive rapey jerklet. he's very pretty but.. that doesn't make up for much. he basically realised that she might be a pushover and went “ohmygodthisisthehottestthingeversomeoneicanbullyaroundfortherestofmylifeohgodthisissexypants” and then proceeded to stalk her, be rapey and basically stuff a bunch of contracts in her face like "here. i make for you. you sign. yes, ok?"
2. Anastasia, would be the one in horror movies who has the bright idea to go down to the dark cellar which has no lights, only one exit and from which the threatening whispers are coming from. you know the one, the stupid idiot whom you shout at “DONT GO IN THERE!” “NO NO NO DONT OPEN THE DOOR” but of course she'd still go in. gotta give them some props though, without them, there'd be no movie and our lives may be all that duller.
3. i am so incredibly late to this party (i'm sorry, i wasn’t invited *cries for days. nope

i still can't believe i didn't expect nudity in this.

Also, took me forever and a day, but i've just found this. my heart is well.

In all honestly, i understand why they had the other ending planned from the beginning. but it'd have made sense if thety'd executed it a long long time ago, before all the major character developments and milestones and people in general started getting to the better versions of themselves we'd like to see (like barney and robin). 

we already spent all the seasons for Ted to meet the perfect woman (and hell yeah, she really is), and then its just poof oh she dies, i love aunt robin. and we spent a pretty long time watching barney grow into a decent human being, him and robin coming together in a marriage that seemed pretty damn awesome. and that gets completely thrown down the drainpipe like an afterthought. bullshit man. i got invested in those two, and they got completely cheated. 

The entire gang has lost it's mojo, the relationships were in shambles. ted, barney and robin are back at square one. i do not see the point of returning to the first idea you had. and even if you were going to, why'd you have to get it there in two or was it just one episode? it was so rushed and... really, the only word i can use here is half-assed. 

this alternate ending gives me peace. i wish i found it 5 months ago

Irrelevantly, everything i pull out of my bag now smells like Chanel no.5, which, to my disdain, doesn't smell a whole lot like pink fluffy unicorns that shit confetti and barf rainbows and smiles. for that price i expect it to do something magical.

maybe it has though. the smell is still extremely strong, and it's been a week.

i guess that's the magic.

i definitely don't appreciate these things much, although the perfumes at the body shop i do quite adore (the lychee blossom one is magnificent), so maybe it's just me.

cest la vie.