the bat cave of unproductivity

beered up physicists. naked screaming ahjummas. safety. 1,000 won blanket rentals. saunas. public bathing. fluorescent sleepwear. communal sleeping areas. jimjilbang, busan. 180814

i'm not doing a great job of updating this. where was all the excitement i had when i was sleep deprived and plagued by exams a week ago?

despite it being off-examination season, i seem to have holed myself in my room.

i'm like that monster at the bottom of the sink that screams bloody murder when someone opens the lid and exposes it to sunlight, or more terrifyingly...drain cleaner.

that analogy may have gotten far a way from me. but let's get back to the point.

so basically, all i've been doing is (oh let's make a list. I LOVE LISTS.)

things i've done in the past four days
(i actually thought it'd been a week, which is why i kind of overreacted and have been internally screaming at myself about my lack of productivity for the past two days.i feel confused, and like my sense of time is very, very out of whack)
1. mull over grammar and proper spelling
2. dig up old diaries and mock my past (no shit, i made notes on the margins about my stupidity)
3. sleep on the floor because, get this. i somehow decided that my bed, which was just three feet away mind you, was, too. far. away. THREE FEET AWAY.
4. roll around and talk to my cats
5. go on a wes anderson binge (we're talking more than 7 hours straight here)
6. paint my nails
7. clean everything off my nails because i felt that somehow, i was being suffocated (because i breathe through my nails apparently)
8. eat an obscene amount of cookies (i've practically cleared out my fridge and room)
9. think about cleaning my room
10. play hairdresser on myself (for which i am regretful)
11. become unhealthily obsessed with tetris
12. watching haikyuu and obsessing over, not just fictional, BUT ALSO TWO DIMENSIONAL, characters for much longer than i'd like to admit

all in all, i am not very pleased with myself right now.

alright, so i may be exaggerating a little bit. i did other things too. like grocery shopping, reading, spied on my neighbours, cat cleaning... went to raya open houses, read shel silverstein to my cousin (i'm not ready for this topic yet, so i'm going to box up my feelings about this and cart it off a cliff).

oh reminds me, SELAMAT HARI RAYA you guys, and maaf zahir dan batin. remember to spend time with your family and eat all the good food, especially lemang, rendang, and lodeh, and.. well i could go on really, but you get the point.

ok, i guess it wasn't entirely unproductive, considering it's only actually been about four days. but it still feels like i should be doing something more... self-initiated at least.

because i'm having trouble articulating my thoughts again, i'm just going to say

i need to go outside.

for now, have this.

so obsessed with this song. it's not even funny.